The Road to Tryouts

An annual rite of cheerleading is the tryout process. During a 2 to 3 week period, girls (and boys) who would like to become cheerleaders for the next school year pick up a tryout packet, follow the instructions therein, show up for practices to learn the routines, then try out in front of a panel of judges. Sounds simple, right?
The first clue that this year's tryouts would not go smoothly, came shortly after the packets were made available. You see, according to our constitution, the varsity squad was supposed to be composed of 12 cheerleaders. However, we had more than 12 returning girls who would be trying out. The moms of the talented cheerleaders, probably no more than 4 of them, thought nothing of it. But the ECMs who realize on some deeply repressed level that their daughters are graceless, awkward, and, in fact, cheerless, became enraged! An ECM's life would be completely meaningless if her daughter ceased to be a cheerleader!
Emails began burning up the internet at a pace never before witnessed by mankind! How could this criminally unfair injustice be allowed? ECMs were seen around town foaming at the mouth, hair sticking out wildly, and double chins quivering! There were meetings with the principal and even the superintendent of schools.
Finally, on a day when the Sponsor was, coincidentally, home with a vomit-inducing migraine, the frenzy reached a peak of bellowing and shrieking, and the decision was handed down from on high that the squad would consist of 16 varsity members.
Just to be sure that there was no way one of them could possibly lose, the ECM offspring began spreading two messages: (1) It will be a waste of time for anyone else to try out because all spots are reserved for current cheerleaders. (2) If you attempt to try out, you will have no friends, your house and car will be vandalized, and all your hair will fall out. Of course these messages were conveyed in only the most loving way and as a public service because, after all, cheerleaders always selflessly work for the good of the school.
You might be thinking that the ruling was made and that was the end of it. In reality, the fun had just begun......