I have been a high school cheerleader sponsor for several years and it has been a harrowing expreience fraught with peril. In this blog I will attempt to share the wisdom and experience I have gained before I slip away into madness.
The term "evil cheer mom" comes from the Latin, cheer momus evilus which means "wacked out midddle aged female with no significant life of her own". Note: there are some aberrations wherin the ECM is male.
How can you tell if you have stumbled into the presence of an ECM? Some characteristics include but are not limited to:
*Believes that cheerleaders are "school leaders" or "role models"
*Defines "fair" as anything that gives her daughter an unfair advantage
*Does cheer motions in the stands at football and basketball games
*Wears school themed merchandise everywhere she goes
*Smiles at the other moms
*Calls her daughter's team members sluts
*Blames her daughter's bad grades, lack of talent, even acne, on the other girls, the
other moms, or the sponsor
At this point I do need to clarify that not all cheerleader moms are ECM's. There are many normal moms or those who only occasionally slip into a temporary ECM state. And, for the most part, the girls are like any other high school girls. If only they were orphans.
Now that you know what an ECM is, I'll be posting true stories of this fascinating yet repugnant species. I'd love to continue now but, even though I'm on spring break, I have several ECM phone calls to return. You see, we just had tryouts and not everyone made the team......
And then there's the one from Channelview who tried to put out a contract hit on her daughter's cheer rival's mom.
ReplyDeleteOr the 3 than hired a lawyer to go after me because I caught their daughters cheating on a final exam.
Or the one of those who walked into my classroom and said "So what if she was cheating! I'd do the same in your class if I could." she said this in front of other students and I threw her out.
Cheerleading produces more injuries than football, documented. It is not life, prepares them for no future, and if it weren't for modern methods of birth control, would produce the largest percentage of unwed mothers or visits to abortion clinics of any other high school activity. And... nobody in the stands even knows the cheers, (besides "Two bits, four bits..."), so the term "cheer leader" is ridiculous.
"Cheerleader Sponsor" is an activity that is akin to martyrdom, it makes professions like alligator wrestling, snake handling, and defusing bombs look like child's play. It can't possibly pay enough.